


Blue

by SallyK



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Relationship Study, colour blue - freeform, retrospection, spoilers from season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-20 13:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16556786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyK/pseuds/SallyK
Summary: Blue.It’s just a colour.(Except it isn’t.)





	Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> I wrote this for a three sentence fic tag. **@blaupainter_** on Twitter asked for Obitine, and since they're my Star Wars OTP things went a little wild and I ended up with _way_ more than three sentences. A huge thanks to **queen** for having a look at this.
> 
> English is not my first language but I did my best <3
> 
> I hope you like it~~!

Blue.

The colour of the sea and the sky. The colour of some stars.

Of some loves.

* * *

 

Obi-Wan builds his lightsaber when he becomes a Padawan, like all the apprentices who have preceded him and all the apprentices that’ll follow him into the Order. It being blue isn’t special at all; when attuned with their wielders, most Illum`s crystals turn blue. He doesn’t mind, like he wouldn’t have minded a crystal that ended up being green, like his Master’s, or even a more unusual colour, like Master Tahl’s orange one.

The lightsaber itself is what actually matters; the colour of its blade is absolutely secondary, unless it’s _red._ But crystals don’t become red naturally, so it’s nothing Obi-Wan should worry about. He doesn’t worry about colours in general, either. They don’t mean anything, they’re just… there.

Then the mission to Mandalore happens.

The Jedi have had so much history, so much conflict there, that it’s only appropriate Obi-Wan is destined to have a story there too.

* * *

 

It isn’t an easy mission, and they aren’t happy days.

There is no Galactic Civil War, not yet, but there are no clonetroopers, no Republican Fleet to aid them either. It’s just the three of them, going undercover, keeping their heads down. Trying to merge within the crowd while assassins and bounty hunters chase them, bloodhounds following the trail of a wounded animal. The feeling of danger, of death never going too far away.

Many years later, Obi-Wan will remember these days with a certain fondness. With nostalgia, even, before he’ll have to remind himself he shouldn’t do that. Jedi do not linger in the past.

But how couldn’t he? Their enemies were real, tangible—the political opposition, the hunters—, their mission was clear. Sith were nothing except a myth, a night-time tale to scare younglings with. Qui-Gon was still alive.

Satine was still alive.

* * *

 

Blue.

It’s just a colour.

(Except it isn’t.)

* * *

 

Blue are Satine’s eyes, gleaming with conviction and pride. Before meeting her, Obi-Wan had been taught that pride was bad. But pride doesn’t feel wrong in her. She has to be proud. Still wanting to change Mandalore’s ways when your own life is at stake is not a feeble task. Lesser people would give up, run away.

Satine is not lesser people.

She knows what she wants for her people and the Mandalorian System, and she’s more than ready to risk everything for it. She’s sometimes afraid, because Obi-Wan can feel that in the Force, but her determination never falters, and her fears do not show in his face.

* * *

 

“Blue” is the first word in _Mando’a_ Satine teaches him, because it’s similar to his surname and she finds that amusing.

That word is followed by many others, half-whispered in the middle of the night, because she isn’t supposed to teach the language to any outsiders and they both know it. It’s their secret. Each new noun, verb or adjective leaves a taste in his tongue. A taste of victory. Or closeness.

Satine never recites ancient war chants or poems, because they’re part of a tradition she doesn’t agree with, but Obi-Wan ends up learning insults, promises. Mandalorian wedding vows.

During these lessons, their hands brush together—accidentally first, on purpose later— and the universe stops being so big and dangerous.

* * *

 

Blue is the dim light they use to illuminate their shelter the stormy night they first kiss, when Qui-Gon is standing guard outside and the temperature is so freezing they end up snuggling up for warmth.

No words between them two, neither in Basic nor in _Mando’a_.

Just the kiss and the blue light.

* * *

 

They kiss again, a second time, but it’s agonizingly soon because it’s also their last.

After all the time on the run, a very young Dutchess finally reclaims her right to the throne. Obi-Wan can’t help but think how small she looks in that throne, commanding over the enormous hall. He has never thought she couldn’t do it or that she wasn’t up to the task. But even the most feral wolf is nothing against too many teeth and Mandalore is a ruthless system.

So he hopes, _desperately_ hopes, going against everything he has been taught, that the Council orders Qui-Gon and him to stay a little bit more, at least until the new government is fully established and secured. He has never regretted becoming a Jedi—or being on his way to become one—but he can’t help but feel a pang of envy when he looks at those who will get to be Satine’s wards. It’s just right, his silly mind thinks; a Duchess has to had a Knight.

The order from the Council, obviously, is to go back to Coruscant.

Then they are alone and even the air tastes like goodbye.

The kiss is even worse. Obi-Wan almost feels the lump of tears in his throat.

The Council has turned him down, once again, but he still prays. To whom, he doesn’t know. The Force. Some forgotten deity. _Anybody_.

“ _Ask me to stay ,_ ” he wants to say, he wants to _plead_.

But he doesn’t say it, and she doesn’t say it, and they part ways.

Of course, Satine is wearing blue that day.

* * *

 

Obi-Wan tries to forget those moments the following days, weeks, months. Years. It’s not that he doesn’t want to remember Satine. He just knows he shouldn’t remember her differently than any other person he has ever protected. And he might have been on the verge of leaving the Order—again—, but he has stayed so he has to play by the rules.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t check the news from Mandalore far more frequently than one who just wants to know what’s happening in the Galaxy.

He tries to bury his feelings, alongside the notion that blue is… well, anything more than _just_ blue, but it’s not always easy.

Obi-Wan has to return to Illum twice to get another kyber crystal. First after Naboo, then after Geonosis. Both times there’s a moment, there’s a second in which his heart skips a bit before he closes his eyes and attunes with his new crystal. And both times, it’s still blue when his eyes open and he has to repress a rueful smile.

Probably, Satine wouldn’t find it funny. The fact that a lightsaber, a _weapon—_ because it’s no longer just a symbol of peace, the war demands weapons, not symbols—reminds him of her. But she doesn’t know. He never tells her, not even when he has to go back to Mandalore.

Some things should remain unsaid, and they both are past masters in the art of swallowing words and bottling up feelings. It’s easier to survive that way.

(Except, in the end, Satine doesn’t survive the war and _Obi-Wan_ doesn’t either. Both die amidst black and red.)

* * *

 

Many years later, surrounded by the warm tones of Tatooine, Ben Kenobi thinks about how he never actually asked Satine what her favourite colour was. Nobody has ever asked him, either, although he knows his answer the same way he knows the Force is with him. There is no other option, really. He didn’t choose it, it simply _is_.

And he smiles sadly, watching the sand twirl at his feet.

He was destined to infinite sadness after all.

Of course her colour, his colour, their colour, has to be _blue._

**Author's Note:**

> If you are curious, blue in _Mando'a_ is _kebiin_! (Which was similar enough to Kenobi for me).


End file.
